ocean's birth story.

So many of you have asked about Ocean's birth so I thought I would finally share it with you all.

 (at 42 weeks.)

This isn't what we planned for, at all. I was ready with my birth plan, I knew everything I could know. We we're prepared. I was going all-natural or nothing. This was still my plan when I hit 40 weeks.

And...when I hit 41 weeks...and then when I hit 42 weeks my doctor insisted we induce.

Part of me was relieved- finally this would be over, I would have my baby girl in my arms.

The other part of me was overwhelmed with sadness, I could kiss my birth plan goodbye.

We were on Medicaid with Ocean and in Alabama, that means you also sign over the rights to your body. They would decide, not me. We decided that Friday night that I would be induced Sunday- after me saying to give it a little more time. When Saturday night arrived and I hadn't dilated still I knew I would be induced. I spent Saturday night in the tub, crying my eyes out. I couldn't believe all this was happening. I felt very defeated. I don't know if I have ever felt that way before, I literally had no energy or drive to do anything, I just cried. Tossed and turned all night, Marc tried to comfort me, but it was something I had to go through. Much like a grieving process. The next morning I woke up feeling refreshed and a lot more positive about the situation. Although I did fight tears all day, I was very, very focused on the fact that our baby would be here in a matter of hours and that I was going to try and stay natural as long as possible. I was okay with the fact that I might end up with an epidural.

I knew that being induced up my chances of a c-section, which scared the hell out of me but I was determined to fight tooth and nail if it came to that. There was nothing I could do except make the best of the situation.

I was set to go in at 7 to be induced so at 4 Marc and I headed over to Ruby Tuesdays for the salad bar.

We took advantage of them and ate unlimited salad, talked, cried a little and overall had a very calm, relaxed evening...for about 2 hours. At 6 we decided to head on over to the hospital and check in a bit early. We did, got settled in and watched some TV. I tried to sleep a bit, in between updating facebook to alert my friends and family as to what was happening. On the phone off and on with my mom.

I don't really remember much. They started me on a pitocin drip around 7:30ish and I dosed off for a bit after that. I remember waking up sometime later and feeling sickly, so I got up and went to the bathroom, rinsed my face off, brushed my hair and pulled it back, brushed my teeth and waddled back to bed. Waking up again around 12 am, the pain was really intense, I couldn't relax any longer. I had dilated to 3 centimeters and was progressing steadily. The nurse suggested I try demerol, I told her I would wait longer. At around 1, exhausted from pain and just being huge I agreed to it. She gave me a low dose and I was able to sleep until 3. At this point when I woke up the pain was even more intense (back labor was starting) I laid through my contractions which weren't bad at all, in fact, they seemed to give me temporary relief from the back labor.  She suggested a higher dosage but said that I was progressing quickly enough that it probably wouldn't help, I agreed to try, it didn't help. It made me feel like throwing up instead. And I did, 2 times. Misery at this point. Just hoping everything would progress. I got up when the nurses would leave to walk around, it made the back labor bearable.

Finally after awhile of walking around, I was able to sleep a bit longer. I woke up at 5 to find out that my family was on their way and the doctor would be there in a bit to break my water. At 6:30 that morning my family arrived and my water was broke- Things started moving along. The back labor became really intense, but I focused on trying to talk to my mom and sister. I was so tired though that a lot was incoherent they tell me. At 7:40ish I finally fell asleep and slept until about 9:30, I woke up and felt a little renewed. Like I actually had an ounce of energy to my name. At this point I was 7 centimeters dilated, I was starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The back labor was becoming unbearable though. I actually started crying through this part...(I am not the type who deals with pain this way) At this point I was losing my energy quickly because of how intense the pain was, my nurse asked if I wanted to get an epidural, I said no. She told me to be sure because I only had a 30 minute window at this point. My mom and I talked about it, and after awhile decided that I would. I was so tired I was afraid if I didn't rest I wouldn't be able to push (I could barely hold a remote at this point) and if I couldn't push I would end up with a c-section. So we went with it. (This is where it gets bad) We paged the nurse and told her what we decided, she was off to get the anesthesiologist. What I remember about this is blurry, he got there and I explained that I wanted a low dose and only in my lower right back to numb the back labor. I could tell immediately he was a very arrogant guy because he seemed very clearly amused by my plan. "Your going to want an all over epidural." he said. I just ignored his comment and proceeded to get into position. He prepped my back and then said "Here we go"...at this point Marc had been holding my hands and standing in front of me for support and then when I opened my eyes my mom was there.

Marc had almost passed out on a chair nearby. Poor guy. Needles scare him I instantly started feeling the numbness...all over the left side of my body. I looked at my mom and just said "This isn't right..." her and my nurse, both concerned asked what I meant, I explained that not only was the numbness on the wrong side, head to toe, it was also making the back labor MORE intense. The nurse felt bad and started to page him back in there, he came back and arrogantly laughed when I told him what was going on, saying I hadn't given it enough time to work. I said I had and that it was the wrong side, fix it. And he told me to lay on my right side so the medicine would drain down. I couldn't believe he said that. I told him if I did I would be sick and that it wouldn't work. He rolled me over onto my side anyways. I immediately threw up a couple of times. He looked a little repentant then, he upped my dose and left. After 30 minutes I felt like I had on Saturday night. Whipped, defeated and lost. I just started crying. My nurse consoled me and offered to get a different  anesthesiologist. At this point I was so tired of it I said no. My mom and nurse felt so bad for me though so they talked to me until I agreed. I am glad I did. This guy knew what he was doing, I explained what had happened and he immediately was kind and offered a sigh and eye roll at the other guy. He also looked annoyed when I told him of his suggestion to "roll over"... He prepped my back again and I got my 2nd epidural of the past 30 minutes. Instant relief. It was bliss. I thanked him because I immediately felt relief exactly where I had asked in the first place. I layed down and slept for 2 more hours. When I woke up my doctor was in the room to check how far I had dilated. I was 10 centimeters, time to push. Everyone in the room was ecstatic. Marc gave me a huge kiss on the check. My sister pulled out the video camera and our Nikon. She was here after 30 minutes of pushing, I was laughing through pushing because I noticed how glamourous I looked in the mirror across from me.

I'll let these pictures do the talking...

 checking mama out...haha

Oceana Mercy arrived on March 9th, 2009 around 1:15 pm.
8 lbs. 9 oun. 21 inches long.

It wasn't ideal but it was beautiful in its own way.
♥