parenting challenges.

It has been a frustrating past couple of weeks for me...

Ocean has really pushed my limits with screaming and generally being ill-tempered.

How have I helped?

I admit, I have typically matched her energy by yelling back and being ill myself.

The whole time I have this voice in the back of my head scolding myself, I kept telling it I would change my ways next weeks but I am too tired to deal with this right now.

No wonder it has escalated to the problem it is now.

I call that lazy parenting.

When instead of taking the time and patience required to properly guide and assist Ocean in making the best decision regarding handling her anger and calming down, I am instead making it worse by lashing out in my own frustration...not only that, I am reenforcing that when you get angry this is the proper way to handle your anger. Thankfully I have only lost my temper to the point of hitting her leg once- and I quickly apologized. I also stressed that it is NEVER okay to hit someone because you feel angry and that I was very wrong for hitting her, she told me she forgives me.

A breath of fresh air last night when I stumbled across this article...

These are things I knew already but phrasing it the way they did makes it easy to remember when I am dealing with a situation. Its called the H.A.L.T method and it is right on!

I know for a fact these things are true. SO true.

I have been carefully watching what and when Ocean is eating and if I am hungry I offer her a snack as well. So many parents try to get their kids on a eating schedule but I know my stomach is not on one.

I get hungry or thirsty at no planned time and it affects my mood in a huge way, why would she be different? I also know that chemicals in food can affect our moods as well so I stay away from anything that isn't natural or organic. (That goes for body care as well, our skin absorbs it and it affects us too!)

All that is to say- there is so much that goes into how we are behaving, as we get older we can (or at least should) control that better, but as babies, toddlers and children who are still doing some serious developing it is almost impossible to think it through and react the appropriate way.

On another note- boredom is primarily responsible for attitudes around here. 

And Im not talking about just Ocean- I have to remember that while for me, thifting cures my afternoon blues, for a toddler who can't run around in the store...its boring.

I cannot make Ocean enjoy things she cannot/will not at this age and I have to be unselfish enough to sacrifice my wants to hers...after all, I did sign up for this!

So if she wants to spend all afternoon in the sprinkler, I need to not only do so, but with happiness!

Here are a few other articles to refresh and encourage you towards not only truly loving your child but also enjoying them as well!

- Four fun ways to practice playful parenting.

(I LOVE the idea of playing outside first thing in the morning, I am going to start this ASAP!)

- Four parenting strategies for difficult days.

(Understanding ages and stages is the most important thing for me!)

- Let your kids get dirty. 

(I love this article in particular because I am such a neat freak- I want to enjoy spending time with Ocean getting dirty and allowing her to play uninhibited!)

- Relinquish your power on things that dont matter.
- 20 indoor activities for kids, besides watching TV.
(nothing lazier than letting the tv parent your child, seriously, we should feel guilty about this. I am going to implement a ton of these ideas over the next few days, especially the tea party one)

and finally...

- 10 reasons not to hit your kids.

(I read this list anytime I am feeling like "mayyyyybe...she does need a good "spanking"" and then I come to my senses.)

Hope you all feel a bit renewed!

♥