I have thought so long about this post. I have been dealing with so much in my heart and mind lately, between wanting to share and wanting to keep it private.
As you know, we have moved a lot the past 6 months. NYC/CT, Asheville, Athens and between our parent's homes in Alabama. Why? Because we didn't have a plan after NYC didn't work out. Why didn't NYC workout? Because at orientation at Columbia, Marc learned he would be gone from 7am- 5pm at school, board a bus headed to New Jersey and not get back until 10pm that night. They neglected to inform him of any of that prior to selling everything/moving. When Marc first told me everything I cried. I was so angry. Angry at him because the program wasn't going to work, because we had already come so far. Angry because he didn't have a plan two. Over the next few days I went between being miserably angry to being so happy and relieved that we were free, free to make new plans. When we decided to hang out in Asheville for awhile, I was blissfully happy. That time was so hard and stressful. Being jobless, no direction, not sure what our next move was and knowing that the deadline for most schools had already passed. I cannot tell you how many nights Marc and I spent arguing and fighting, it was so stressful. I remember one day, sitting on the couch and feeling myself on the edge of depression. I thought my marriage might be ending, I though my world was crumbling. I am so thankful for the nights that our friend Erik and I spent at trivia at a little arcade in downtown Asheville. Those nights of getting out and having someone to talk to was the therapy that helped me make it through that time with a shred of sanity.
Finally, Marc learned that UGA had a program he was interested in in non-profit management. This wasn't too new, he had talked about non-profit work before, I was a little weary of new ideas for a career but this time I latched on. It was a plan at least and we needed one, I also loved Athens and we had tossed around the idea of living there before, so we could go for it. I was so excited. We immediately went to check out rentals and found a perfect one on craigslist. A couple was about to get married and the guy needed to sublease his two bedroom apartment. The lease ran until July of this year. It was too perfect. I told Marc, just in case something came up and we changed plans that this lease is very short term.
We made an appointment to check it out with a few others. As it happened, I fell in love with a different rental house. An older one with a lot of charm. Hardwood floors. You know, the good stuff. It was also walking distance to downtown. We are a day away from signing the lease when Marc's dad calls, he said he wanted to invest in real estate and wants us to find a home that we can fix up and then he can rent out when Marc finishes school and we leave. Marc and I both eagerly jumped on this idea. We immediately started looking for a home. After a lot of searching we had fallen in love with one. We called his Dad so that we could proceed and disappointingly his dad had lost interest. I was heartbroken. We had become so attached to this little home, thinking it was ours. We needed to move in two weeks though so we didn't have much time to pout and we called to find out if our little dream rental had been rented. It had.
I was so angry. So angry. Again, so many tears. (As I look back it was a bit dramatic, I will say) So hard though, not knowing what to do. We finally called the couple with the sublease to see if it was still available. It was and we signed the lease. We moved in and fell in love with the place, and Athens. The following Friday I applied for a job waitressing and got a call back the next day. Everything was falling into place. I had friends, a job and Marc was starting school in June. Finally, everything was on track. Not to much later, we went on our beach trip. Right before we left Marc got an email from The University of Alabama's law school letting him know he had been admitted and awarded a scholarship. We were at my parents when he got the email and we all joked "Here we go again!" but I knew Marc had a bit of a yearning to go. Over the next few days I didn't think about it since Marc hadn't said anything but finally one night he brought it up. I got angry and told him I had already moved enough and wasn't going to move to the sh*t hole that is Tuscaloosa. (Yep, I can be a real bitch) But guys, you should have seen the look on his face. He wanted to go to law school. I knew he was only staying in Athens for me. So finally, I told Marc to do whatever he wanted but to know that he was stuck this time. For real, stuck.
(Shaking my head at how rude I can be) He called UGA and dropped his admission and I wanted to cry. I was so angry. Not so much at him but that we were moving all over again. So mad that we were finally in a place I loved and we were leaving. After the initial wave of sadness swept over me, I realized how gleeful I was, excited even at the idea of a new place and the many new adventures that were sure to ensue. And I started to realize how perfect everything was, our lease would end just in time to move (classes start in August) and Marc would have a good degree and end up with a good job. I had to take a step back and look at myself. Who was this girl who was becoming open to all this moving around? Finding the positive in a stressful situation. I realized how much I have grown as a individual, a mother, a wife and a friend. This time in our lives has been some of the most stressful time but it has also been so rewarding.
We started looking at rentals in the area and became very overwhelmed, most places were rented or otherwise not acceptable. We finally found a dream rental. Back yard, deck, older home with charm. Wood floors. (I love wood floors) We went immediately and filled out an application. Loaded up the kids and headed back to Athens so I could go to work. We got a call the very next morning. Someone had come in with cash and got the place. Marc and I were both completely overwhelmed. What to do. There were no other options for rentals. Our only choices were a few apartment complexes in shady areas. We were distraught. Marc's dad came to the rescue and told us he was interested in real estate still if we were willing to do all the legwork. We were and he did. We found the dreamiest little house. I was trying not to get my hopes up but right after looking at it, I was smitten. I remember feeling so good. So good about everything. This was all so right. I knew it. I had a feeling. We informed Marc's Dad of the proforma on the place and he told us to immediately make an offer. We did, for $4,000 less than the asking price. It was accepted and we close in 13 days. The seller is covering all closing costs as well.
My friend Brooke said "When its right, its right" Guys, the universe knew what was up, or maybe I just did. Sometimes I wonder if there really is a reason for our struggle or if we find reason in our struggle. Either way guys, this season is coming to an end for us, bringing in a whole new season.
Marc is attending Law School at UA this Fall. We are moving to Tuscaloosa, AL. (only two hours from my parents!) Luna is turning a year old. Ocean and I are bonding. Oh and we just co-signed on a home. Our home. Our first home. Home for the next three years of our life. I am blissfully happy. This is my dream home. I can't wait to have a real backyard and a garden. I am so lucky.
Patience? I am still learning but I have got a lot more practice under my belt now. Good things do come to those who wait. I am thankful for this time. I am a new person, I know. Perspective is a good thing.
That is what has been going on in my mind and home over the past few months.
I apologize if it is hard to read and scattered. Thank you for the support and love you have all shown. I appreciated you all so much.