this season is changing.
Knowledge is intellectual, involving a deep familiarity with a topic such that we might easily recall and recite it to others. Realization, in contrast, is when knowledge has been converted into real growth and change within us. We define it as ‘permanent and tangible change that protects us from hardship and stabilizes growth and well-being.’ For example, we may have much knowledge about the benefits of eating well or of having more patience when we become frustrated or angry, but realizing these is another matter.-source unknown
Almost a year ago I wrote a post on seasons changing, our lives were about to be turned topsy-turvy and I really had no clue what I was in for. Little did I know the next year would be full of moving to three states, renting two different homes, trying two different grad programs and finally ending right back up in Alabama. I had no idea that truths would emerge and test our commitment.* Truth that I don't think I would have been able to handle a year ago. If I am being honest, I wasn't prepared for any of this...but it has been the best year of my life so far.
If I could go through this year again, knowing the things I know now, it would have made sense. I needed to go through all this so that I could arrive where I am now. While this has only been one year out of many, I think it has been the most significant year, for me, for Marc, for our family.
I feel like this must be noted. I can't shake how much Marc and I needed to go through this year. We needed to get away from Auburn. We needed to explore and grow. We needed to cling to each other. We needed to fight so much that truth became inevitable. We needed to get to a place where we couldn't run away from each other because we were the only people we had. This past year (has it really been almost a YEAR of this!?) has shook us to our core and made us both examine ourselves and the direction our lives have been headed. It has shaped us and made us remember that we can live the life we want.
I write this because once again, our lives our changing in a very significant way. This time, I am excited but also a bit nervous as there is so much to be discussed and planned. We are taking so giant steps towards our dreams. In fact, we are taking the only steps we can, but that means taking so huge risks but it took this year to realize that there is nothing we are afraid to lose but each other. While I hate being so vague, I am also hesitant to share everything at this point. But I can say, we are stepping away from the American "dream" in a way that I don't think we would have had the courage to do a year earlier. While I write this I am holding back tears. Our life can only move forward now. In the most beautiful way. What we have learned this year is the most priceless thing, that there truly isn't much we aren't able to walk away from.
SO here we go again, lots of deep breathing and getting ready. We are taking the steps. The life we dream of is something we won't lose sight of again because it has been realized.
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined...As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." -Henry David Thoreau
*many of you have asked what I am referring to when I talk about the challenges Marc and I faced this summer. I speak of them vaguely because I have no intention of ever sharing. Just needed to clarify. Thanks.