I don't even know how to start this post. In the past two weeks I have watched my dreams come to life. If you had asked me two weeks ago what I wanted more than anything I would have told you:
1--To have a job working with Marc on something creative, at home together.
& 2-- To be able to fix my DSLR, or even better, to be able to upgrade to a Canon.
The past two weeks, I have watched both of those dreams unfold. Yes, both of them.
All I can say is that I believe in good things happening, I believe in good people, and I believe in ideas.
It's hard to wrap my mind around all of this coming together. Conan got this right:
Marc and I have a job, together, that we can do from home but also requires that we take a few road trips, take photos and make short films. It is a creative gig for an online magazine/community. We are the curators for it. We get to work with an inspiring friend who also believes in good people. Financially it pays the bills with a small amount left over. I am so thankful. So, so thankful and I keep pinching myself. I can't believe this is happening. I can work from home, I get to be with my girls and I am being paid a living wage to work with my husband on creative projects that focus on people, community and good things happening within them (& I'll be sharing more as soon as I can!).
Marc and I decided that we would start putting some savings towards getting a camera, which might be a few months away but it would be needed to thrive in this job.
That Sunday, we were asked if we wanted to audit (and participate) in a documentary filmmaking class here at UA. (For real!? The timing of all of this!) Marc and I weren't sure if it would work or not, but my sister agreed to babysit for us. (Thank you, Liz!) And theres that.
Later that week, I picked up this book to read, very inspired to start keeping my own "29 gifts" journal (to commit to giving 1 gift away every day for 29 days). There is something about mindful living that should include giving to others freely and this book brought that to light for me.
Literally, a few hours after I start reading this I am sitting chatting with my sister and Marc, who is on the laptop, looks at me and says "Bekah!....Oh my god, you are going to want to read this!" I am seriously confused and terrified because I couldn't tell if he was excited or anxious. I start saying "what!? what!?" I jump up and run over to look and he has a pillow over the screen, grinning like the biggest dork and keeps saying "Bekah, Oh my god, you won't believe this...". He finally moves the pillow and I start reading, I have to slow myself because I am trying to read it so fast I am not understanding anything. Well, I'll just let you read it...
I have a DSLR Canon XSi 10.1mp camera body and kit lens. And a memory card and a few other accessories. Would you like it? There is no catch. I am just blown away by your ideas and spirit and love of family and have been wanting to downsize. I could sell it, but it just seemed sort of beautiful and fitting to just gift someone. I don't know anyone in my immediate life who isn't also doing more than fine with respects to having wants as well as needs met.
I've also been wanting to get rid of my small ice cream maker and thought of your family; it's so nice to be able to control what goes in there and utilize fresh fruits, etc.
Anyway, hope you don't think me crazy and hope you will at least consider. Maybe I'm nuts, but this just seemed like a good, karmic use of some of my over-abundance. And knowing just the bit about you that I know, I am sure you will, are now, and have been giving to others in your own life.
I read it over and over, I realize my mouth is hanging open. I really stopped being aware of everything else at this point. Liz is watching Marc and I and keeps saying "what!? what!?" I hear Marc start explaining but I am still in shock. I grabbed the laptop to keep reading and finally Marc is like "Bek?". I just sat there, finally I said "I don't know what to say...I am about to cry, Marc." and then it happens. Right there, I start sobbing. I just start babbling about how I can't believe all these things are happening. I keep saying over and over that I can't believe all this is happening. (Thank you love for this generous gift!)
I still can't explain it. I don't know how these things come together.
I am not religious but I do believe in people. I believe in good. I believe we are all connected.
And call me crazy, but I can't help but completely and whole-heartedly believe these things.
The cherry (cherries?) on top? We got a babysitting job (four days a week, weekends wide open), I sold more Ads this week than I ever have and I had my first paid job designing a simple blog.
I am sitting here, already cried this morning, I am still in awe of my life. Maybe to others this is nothing. It's not particularly glamorous. My lifestyle of living super frugally won't be changing. We still won't have the money to eat out often (like we used to), we will still avoid shopping. I probably won't be buying anything special for myself for awhile. We plan to save as much as possible and put our tax return into savings as well, and the fact that we can afford that? I can say I am privileged.
And honestly, I don't care about any of that. I am so happy. My work is life-giving. My family can be with me and my business partner is my husband. I could not be more content. This is joy. Pure bliss.
I believe in people. I believe in good. I have started saying that to myself a lot lately. I want my girls to hear it and believe in it to. Good things guys.